It's going to be the New Chapter of my life and I want to start that chapter with healing. I haven't gone out to meet my EX girlfriend yet but I wrote her a letter. I hope she gets to read it but it's more like a letter that marks the beginning for me. I have finally come to terms with my long love affair. And I know now that my EX wasn't the one for me. I've finally let go.
It was a painful relationship. More painful than anything I've ever experienced. But I learned a lot from it. I learned that when it's not the right relationship, it just isn't the right relationship.
Dear ex girlfriend ,
I'm sorry if you think that I am selfish. I hope you can see what is in my heart. I wish you could read my thoughts and my heart. But you can't. You never have. I guess I keep calling you because I want to know if you've have moved on. I also want some closure between us. Sometimes, I do wish we could be together again. The days we have spent together was one of the defining moments on my life. It changed me in ways I can never fully grasp yet.
I might not know how to respect you, I might not be able to treat you the way you should be treated, I might not know how to control my anger when I am mad, I might not know how to trust you, I might not know how to used a proper languages. But love, I am pretty sure that there would be none for the guys out there that I can do exactly I did and feel right now. I will keep trying to give you the best as you deserve. I miss you and I'm sorry for using improper words. Ich liebe Dich, Ti amo tantissimo, Te quiero, Jag älskar dig, Je t'aime, Te sakam, Naan unnai kadalikiren, Tá grá agam duit, Szeretlek, Minä rakastan sinua, Miluji tě, Ik hou van jou, Mai tumse pyar karathi hun, Saranghae, Aishiteru, Ko kicinio, Volim te, Aku cinta kamu, I love you. Those words keep playing in my mind.
kau tahu tak aku menangis buat surat ni ? kau tahu tak apa aku rasa sekarang ? kau tahu tak betapa sakitnya hati aku ni ? kau tahu ? kau tak tahu kan ? aku sayang kau . sampai mati aku sayang kau ! sumpah , aku tak penah rasa ada org sayang aku mcm ni . Ingat tak aku penah cakap kalau kita jadi mcm kaklea dgn dyra ? aku tak mintak semua ni , aku taknak ! aku lepaskan kau pergi sbb kau deserve org yang lebih baik dari aku . Aku nak kau belajar hidup tanpa aku , nnt kalau aku mati , siapa nak temankan kau ? aku tahu aku jahat , aku tak patut buat benda ni . Surat ni menggambarkan sejauh mana sayang aku kt kau , sedalam mana cinta aku kt kau . Aku tak kesah org panggil aku lessy sbb aku betol-2 syg kau . Maafkan segala dosa aku , halalkan kenangan pahit manis kita . Akan ku sebut namamu disetiap doaku .
aku harap kita masih boleh jadi mcm dulu , but not now . Aku banyak problem , hari hari aku suram , aku sedih all the time , aku tak happy . Hati aku sakit . Aku lemah . Maafkan aku . mummy sayang daddy sangat sangat
Aku doakan kau bahagia . Selamat tinggal baby *Nur Syahirah bt Zainal Abidin